


Four Times Castiel Realized He Loved Dean (And The One Time He Didn’t)

by orphan_account



Series: Assbutts and Mystery Writers verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Fallen!Castiel, M/M, author!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-10
Updated: 2012-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-05 02:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel loves Dean, he just tends to actually acknowledge it at the oddest of times. And then there was that one time where it should’ve been glaringly obvious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times Castiel Realized He Loved Dean (And The One Time He Didn’t)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of my Assbutts and Mystery Writers verse, where Dean gets taken away from his dad and brother and gets adopted by Kate Beckett's family. He grows up relatively normal, if not a bit more of a troll, and ends up being the author of a popular supernatural fantasy series. He meets Castiel again one night when the angel crashes in the most literal way into his apartment.
> 
> Spoilers for Season 7

The first time Castiel realized that he was in love with Dean, he was still an angel. Sure, he was falling fast, but he still had enough grace to be considered an angel.

He’d been seeking a reprieve from Sam and John and their constant fighting. So he decided to check in on Dean, sighing quietly when he realized the author was fast asleep. Turning to leave, he heard the rustling of sheets and felt a hand catch on his trenchcoat.

“Cas…wassit?” Castiel turned his head and smiled down softly at the author.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep, Dean. I’ll stop by when you’re awake.” The hand let go of his coat and Dean sat up, rubbing at his eyes. The angel had to admit that a sleepy Dean was a very endearing Dean. He was caught off-guard when the author rolled out of bed and came over to him, tugging at his outer coat. “Dean, what you are doing?”

“Dude, you look like you could use some sleep. And trust me, sleeping with clothes on is not comfortable.” Cas bit back a weary sigh.

“I’m an angel, Dean. We don’t sleep.” The human stopped tugging at the trenchcoat long enough to level him with a look that showed that he clearly didn’t care. Actually letting the sigh out this time, Castiel pushed Dean away from him so he could pull off the trenchcoat and suit coat. Dean attacked the tie, undoing it with what would frightening skill if the angel took the time to think about it. Then he moved onto the buttons of Castiel’s shirt, stripping him of it with no problem. Castiel worked his pants off while Dean concentrated on the shirt and by the time they were done, the angel was down to nothing but his boxers and looking very awkward. “Now what?” Dean rolled his eyes and pulled the angel over to the bed, getting in under the covers first before tugging Castiel down after him.

“Now, you lay here and fall asleep. Trust me Cas, the world will keep going while you sleep.” The author was holding the angel in his arms, not giving him much room to plot an escape, so again, Castiel just sighed and closed his eyes, giving into Dean’s ridiculous notion that he needed to sleep. But, as he feels the darkness weigh in on him and everything seems to get heavy, he thinks that he wouldn’t mind doing this more often.

Especially if he gets to wake in Dean’s arms every morning.

———

The second time Castiel realizes that he’s in love with Dean, is right after they return from Louisiana. Castiel still isn’t fully recovered, but he’s well enough that he doesn’t have to be in the hospital, so Dean sets him up in his room and takes up residence on the couch downstairs. Cas feels like crap for kicking Dean out of his room, but the author tells him to not worry, that he’ll be more comfortable in the over-sized bed and right now, that’s what he needs.

He also sleeps a lot.

It’s the third night after his release from the hospital that he has his first nightmare. He must’ve screamed out in his sleep or something, cause he wakes up to Dean hovering over him, hands on his shoulders and fear evident in the author’s face. Castiel makes a pathetic noise and that’s all that it takes before Dean is pulling back the blankets and sliding into bed with the ex-angel, holding him and running a hand through his hair until his eyes slide shut and he lets sleep take him again.

They never talk about the nightmare, Castiel can’t even remember what it was about when he wakes up in the morning, but Dean never goes back to sleeping on the couch after that and the former angel can’t help but count that as a win.

———

The third that that Castiel realizes that he’s in love with Dean is about a year after he falls. He’s on the couch, idly flipping through channels, when the author comes tearing through the room and pounces on him, landing heavily on his stomach.

“DEAN! Get off me!” Dean smirks and shakes his head, making Cas groan and try to kick the younger male off of him, which fails, so the former angel just huffs and goes back to idly flipping through channels, trying to ignore the weight that’s pressing down on his stomach.

“Hey Cas…” That’s Dean’s “look at me!” voice, so the ex-angel sighs and gives the author the attention that he’s begging for.

“What De…” He stops mid-sentence, cut off by the ring box that Dean is holding open on his chest. The ring in the box is decidedly masculine in style, two bands of silver encasing a band of tiny diamonds. Castiel swallows heavily before meeting Dean’s eyes, the author looking more nervous that the fallen angel has ever seen before this moment.

“Marry me?” All air and rational thought seems to flee the former angel’s body at that. He nods, almost dumbly, before his brain catches up with his mouth and he starts saying “yes” over and over again, before Dean reaches up to kiss him as best as he can, silencing the angel. But Castiel frankly doesn’t care. All that matters to him is that he gets to spend the rest of his life with the human that he’s fallen for.

———

The fourth time that Castiel realizes that he’s in love with Dean, it’s on their wedding day. The former angel has been a ball of nervous energy since he woke up and the closer it gets to the time of the ceremony, the more jumpy he gets.

But before he knows it, he’s standing in front of Dean, who looks just as nervous as he does. But when he sees Castiel, he relaxes and his whole face lights up in way that makes the ex-angel think that Dean can’t believe that he’s lucky enough to have someone like Cas in his life when really, it’s the other way around.

The ceremony rushes by in a blur and before Castiel knows it, he’s leaning in and kissing Dean like it’s the very first time they’ve ever kissed, and in some weird way it is. It’s their first kiss of forever. He knows that every kiss after this will be just as sweet and just as perfect, but there something about this kiss that makes Castiel realize that Dean chose him and that God himself could probably come down and smite everyone one in this room right now and neither one of them would regret the choices they made that led them to this moment.

———

But, there was one time that Castiel didn’t realize that he was in love with Dean. It was a night after the Leviathan had taken Sam out of the equation, leaving Dean almost alone in his fight against the monsters. The angel, recently sprung by the hunter from his stint at the mental hospital, watched his friend from the corner of the room, flinching whenever another bottle hit the wall and shattered.

It was then, watching this broken and shattered man that had once been his best friend, that Castiel made a choice. He was going to change Dean’s fate. Dean Winchester had given everything for the world until he was broken down into nothing, yet the world kept coming in and taking more and more from the man. And Castiel was tired of seeing Dean hurt like this.

So, when the hunter finally passed out on the bed, the angel snuck out of the safe house they were in and headed straight back to 1985, to a city that was too hot for it to be April and for a little boy who was chasing after his father, desperate to not be left behind. And Castiel caught that child and handed him off to someone that would be able to take him out of the nightmares and into a life where his biggest worry would be what he wanted to wear for the day.

And just like that, it all changed. The Leviathan, Sam’s wall breaking, his cracking open of Purgatory, it all just disappeared. The Winchesters went one way, barreling towards the apocalypse that would still happen and Dean went another, towards a life with a family that cared for him and a career that he could actually be proud of.

And while Castiel may never actually realize it, but changing the very winds of fate and destiny itself may be the biggest act of love that anyone has ever done for another.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve done this meme a million and one times, so I apologize for beating a dead horse here.


End file.
